First Things First: Be Bikini Friendly

As of last week I have decided I need to get away from Dallas and take a trip somewhere to unwind and get a change of scenery. One of my friends is celebrating her birthday in LAS VEGAS so I decided I should go with her and her friend so we booked the trip! Only thing I'm worried about now is shedding these stubborn pounds that won't come off my body. Ugh! It's so frustrating! I joined the gym at the end of February and have been working out weekly, eating better (although I kept eating donuts every Friday when they delivered them to work, since they do every Friday) and so I finally got serious about eating cleaner and working out more vigorously.

Sometimes though you may be in a crunch for time and you need fast results. For me, my trip is two weeks away and I am NOWHERE near being bikini friendly so I talked to a coworker of mine today who said he tried a juice diet for 48 hours and he's seen some results. Mind you, he's in the same predicament because he's going to Cancun this week. He told me this juice he's taking keeps him from being hungry and you just sip it throughout the day and eat no solid foods or have coffee, sodas, alcohol, etc.

I went to the store tonight and got myself a bottle. Thankfully, I got the last one on the shelf because ideally I wanted to buy two of them, but it's best if I try it out first and if I see the results I'm needing then for sure I will buy another bottle next week, HOLLA!

I may do a before and after pic depending on the results and if I feel like showing you my 'before' pic, haha. I'm going to start tomorrow and end it on Saturday morning. I'm a little nervous as I have never done a detox juice diet like this one before. I've worked out four times at the gym this week already and I'm taking a break tomorrow. My body is sore on my legs, abs and arms. I started working out in the morning and I found that although I dread getting up at 5am, when I get home from work I get to relax and not have to rush to the gym. It's going to be a routine I'll have to get used to, but well worth it.

Have you guys tried a juice detox diet like this one? If so, did you get the desired results?

Hello Lover!

It's amazing how fast I can spend money, probably faster than the speed of light. I got my first bonus check for last quarter and of course I splurged on an iPad mini I've been dying to have. I also got this adorable pink giraffe print cover on Amazon.

I paid some bills and saved the rest for my emergency fund. In the midst of all of this I went to get my car inspected before the month ended, got oil changed.. only to end up with a flat tire by the afternoon. Thankfully, two guys I asked for help in a parking lot helped change my tire to my spare and I headed over to the nearest shop to get it replaced. Now more than ever I see why it's important to have some money for emergencies. I still think the guys at the first place I got maintenance from poked a hole in it, haha. Actually, the tire had a pretty good size tear so maybe I ran over something sharp.

I went shoe shopping as well and I will take pics over the weekend and post them up. Too tired right now to do it, but at least I wanted to update so you guys know I'm still here! I feel like I'm going through a blogging rut since I'm in a dating rut so what can I say, they go hand in hand! Iron Man 3 this weekend, should be a blast!

Anywho, another day another dollah! Have a lovely weekend loves!

I love Kim K so I had to post this cute pic of her... Hasta luego! Ciao!

Time is Precious

Hopefully this week will be better than last week. My apologies for the lack of updates, but sometimes it's good to take a breather from blogging and actually go out there and LIVE. I know in my last update I was being positive and I was on a mighty high cloud. This post may be a bit different, but if every post was like the last one, well, it would get boring right? You gotta take the good with the bad. I feel like reality struck and I was brought down from that cloud yet still holding on to hope that love is still out there. Like always, I have that tunnel vision for a guy who I may want to date and then the red flags start waving at me and I dismiss them at first because I think I can live with the warning signs, but that's why they are warnings indeed. It means that things are not going as they should be and it's time to wrap it up.. walk away. What I learned from this recent experience is that I can't date a man with kids. I understand when people have kids, the kids come first. I'm used to being number one and I can't be number two. Not only that, I'm not ready to be a step parent because I don't even know if I want to have kids. It's crazy to think that I'm really shying away from having children, but this is where I'm at now. Maybe down the road, I'll come around to it and have a desire to have them but I do not have a desire to be a mother. Like, AT ALL. My dog Sebastian is my child and I'm okay with that for now.

I'm a hopeless romantic too.

Also, I know I am a passionate, intense, wear my heart-on-my-sleeve type of girl. If a man can't handle that and it makes them not want to pursue because they may take it as if I'm desperate then it's best that they don't date me. If they are the type who want to play games and always wonder if the girl they're interested in likes them or not like them, AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR DAT! I know I don't. I need to find a man who is okay with me being who I am and he can reciprocate the same feeling and showing me he's interested in spending more time with me. Now, I'm not saying he needs to drop everything in his world to spend time with me because that's not healthy. I want him to have a life and add me into his. Let's say he had plans to be with family on a weekend and he should want to see me on the weekend if we're dating so if he's booked then he needs to say "I'm busy this day, but we can do something on another day" (and specify the day and time). Just like guys don't want women to think of them as mind readers, we don't want the same thing done to us.

There also has to be some sense of urgency. If you're a guy I'm into, my expectation is to see each other at least once or twice a week. If you can't get with that then keep it moving. I don't think it's an unreasonable expectation and if it is then you are not into me. I don't have time to waste on bullshit like that. If we meet one week, you have a minimum of a week to contact me to go out on a date. Anytime after that, you pretty much missed the boat. If a guy contacts me a month later for example, I just don't respond. What goes through my mind is why should I give you my time when you didn't show urgency to contact me when the window of opportunity was open. Now that window is closed, so don't expect a response out of me.

These are just some of my rules I go by and I don't expect other people to follow them for themselves. I think after going through so many bad dating experiences, the rules save me from heartache and wasted time. Some people may think that that's why I'm single, but did you ever think that a woman who has respect and value for herself should take whatever is handed to her instead of being treated with respect? Time is precious and I'm not saying I'm on a clock like Cinderella, but why would I invest my time on someone who is not going to bring anything good into my life?

Last week was a turn of events that was really eye opening and jaw dropping. The Boston Marathon bombings were horrifying and unbelievable how much hate a person can have and let it manifest into what happened. It really hit home for me because I'm a runner and have ran a half marathon twice. Also the West Texas explosion was insane. My company had us contribute on Friday and we sent many supplies over there. We need to make the most of our time and invest in it wisely. We never know when we'll take our last breath. My heart goes out to all the victims who were impacted last week in the bombings and the explosion.

Everyone have an awesome week!

Saw this at Z Gallerie over the weekend, totally my style!

Ciao.

Kiss Yesterday Goodbye

I just finished watching the season finale of the first season of The Carrie Diaries and it was so good! I'm not afraid to admit that it's my guilty pleasure. I loved the 80's music they would play, their fashion style and overall great story lines. Plus, seeing how life was back then with no cell (texting), no internet and just a good ol' diary to jot it all down seems like a fantasy.

So I finally came to my senses and told Mr. Big that I'm not interested in seeing him. I almost feel like pinching myself because I can't believe this is me now. I'm making better choices with not only who I want to date, but with doing great at my job, working out to maintain my health and even keeping solid friendships close. My new friends are such a huge blessing because they recently helped me out in many ways when I needed them and they even helped me with creating my own budget. When I told my parents about it they admitted they didn't do a good job of showing me how to budget. So I'm excited to have a budget, see where my money is going and where I can save some money for rainy days. After this month I will be able to save a good chunk of money a month and it's really exhilarating.

 The girls and I at brunch on Sunday.

Now that I'm coming into my own, making my life better and being really happy with my life, it's only fitting that I have a special someone to share my life with. I don't want to spoil anything, but I will say that I met someone. We have a lot in common, even running half marathons/marathons.

With having my new job, I'm finally going to be able to book that trip to Puerto Rico. I haven't seen my dad in 15 years and this is going to be a reunion of a lifetime. We've kept in touch over the years and he's called me a few times the past two months so I think it's about time I go see him and my family.

It's time to make the most out of life {YOLO} and I am so happy to kiss yesterday goodbye because it's my time to shine.

I Need a New Hobby

Sometimes when I'm bored I automatically default to online dating browsing to see if my prince is indeed there. It all started when I ran into an old friend and she told me she met her husband on an online dating site. Are you serious? I am happy for her yet so green with envy because that's never the case for me. I get home that night and get on good ol' POF and found some interesting characters who all do the same thing... Not pursue. I'm just over it and I have officially given up on online dating. I know I said it before, but I really mean it this time. Scout's honor and all! 

A few days later I did some regular online browsing and ran into Melissa Beck's tumblr. She's the crazy Melissa from Real World New Orleans and I always liked that chica. I read her engagement story and although it was a novela (basically it was super long), I ended up getting emotional and even cried! She met her husband a long time ago and throughout the years they would run into each other and she would be with someone and so would he, but nothing ever happened and they were just friendly acquaintances. Then the world brought them together due to their similar interests and they built a more solid friendship and ended up falling in love. That's what I want! A normal way of meeting someone and letting things happen when the time is right. So I concluded that I need a new hobby so that I can somehow meet my prince through either volunteering, mingling with friends, something, but something's gotta give. It's time for me to no longer be dateless! I have friends who have boyfriends and they want to double and triple date, I'm just a lady in waiting.

Now I know what I'm about to divulge will make some of you roll your eyes buuuuuut... Mr. Big has recently contacted me. About a month ago, he randomly texted me as I had mentioned on a previous post and ignored him. This time it seemed like he actually wanted to have a conversation so I obliged and responded. Found out he's back on the market and wouldn't tell me why -- not a shocker because either his chick busted him playing her or maybe she got tired of him not wanting to get married. I'm not going to make the same mistakes by taking him back and letting him take control and advantage of me, but it sure is funny to see him try. Today he tells me he's looking for a new place to move and says he wants to live with me. I shut him up by telling him I'm not living with someone unless we're engaged. I also made it clear to him that I'm not looking for a hook up and if that's what he's after he can keep on moving. He says he just wants to be friends because he's missed me, blah blah blah. 

It feels good to stand my ground and not go back to my old ways. I see the world so different now than I ever have and I'm going to keep on this path that I'm on. What are you guys up to?

Girl Power

Spring is here, finally! Last week my girls and I went to Beauty Live and had a blast! The pic above is the night we went for the meet and greet. More details of the event over at Bellaesque shortly.

With spring comes spring cleaning and I kinda feel as though I've been doing some spiritual/mental cleaning in my head and in my life. Starting with of course being abstinent. Today I got a message from a reader who shared that they also decided to be celibate before they even found my blog. It gave me such a boost of confidence to know that other women like myself are standing their ground and not letting anyone take advantage or of their bodies. I think that's what I'll call GIRL POWER.

Another way I'm cleaning up the mess is by not texting back to Mr. Big! I'm not trying to get sucked back into that vacuum of a man who sucks the life out of me. He texted me last week talking about how he had a dream about me and annoyingly lets me know at five in the freaking morning! Who does that? I should've had my phone on vibrate because as soon as his text came through my crazy ass woke up and grabbed the phone right away because I knew it was him. {I have a certain text tone for him, I'm not a psychic... only sometimes and I'll explain here in a bit} So I dismissed it and went right back to sleep. I looked at it later in the day, but then put my phone away and firmly said to myself to be strong and not to message him and I won. GIRL POWER.

Losing weight and working out is a way of staying clean and eating clean. It's been about three weeks since I started working out and I took some hideous BEFORE pics and yesterday took some AFTER pics to see my progress and I gotta say I'm noticing progress. I'm just doing cardio because that's the best way to shed the weight and also eating healthy. Who would've thought that BEFORE pics can actually motivate you to get dressed and drag your booty to the gym? That's what mine did for me as well as my clothes not fitting me. It even got to the point where I tore one of my shirts while I bent down to put on my shoe! That's where I drew the line because I had that shirt for 10 years, it was from Express :( I don't even have the heart to throw it away yet, even though it's finito. GIRL POWER.

I removed people from my life who were not bringing positive vibes or good for me and I made new friends who so far seem like they are the right people I need. Every weekend we spend time together and keep in touch during the week. These girls are in relationships and it's different for me because I'm used to usually having single friends. I feel they have a lot of insight from what they go through in their relationships and help me see things I may not be able to decipher right away. They are my princesses and my sunshines, making my day brighter with their friendship. They make life awesome and not being mean, rude, or bitchy. They are the real and good people I needed. GIRL POWER.

As I mentioned earlier I can be a bit of a psychic. Okay, maybe that's a little far fetched but let me tell you what happened. So this weekend I had a dream about this guy who I don't even like in real life and we were getting hot and bothered if you know what I mean. I woke up freaking out because I seriously thought I had broken my celibacy! Then I thought to myself that it would be so funny if he tells me he had a dream about me too. Well, we work together so low and behold he comes up to me and tells me he had a dream about me last night!!! How crazy is that?! I told him I had a dream about him too and that I had a feeling he was going to have a dream of me and I was right! So all day I'm trying to just be normal but when our eyes meet, I keep rethinking of that dream and I'm like NOOOOO. He wishes that dream could come true I'm sure, but the cookie is staying in the jar.

GIRL POWER.

Guest Post: Even Grandma Has Given Up

A new guest post from the witty Tara Merry! This one had me laughing out loud. - Bella

I had an unsettling realization a few weeks ago. I discovered that my grandmother has given up on me. I don’t mean this in a bad way; I guess if I really think about it, this might be a good thing. I have finally dropped from my spot as golden granddaughter to just Tara.

My grandmother; the woman who has spent my entire life teaching me to knit and bake for my future family, the woman who once told me that I should always do my hair before I leave the house because I never know when I will meet my husband. She has finally looked at me with love and said ‘umm, maybe there is no future husband?’

It started about a month ago; I had just broken up with my long term boyfriend and called my grandmother to tell her that the wedding was off. I should probably point out that I wasn’t actually engaged at any point, but mere technicalities have ever stopped anyone in my family from planning a party.

My grandmother’s automatic response was to console me by saying that I could always go back to ‘that nice boy you used to date in high school’. Side note: My grandmother never got the chance to meet the nice boy from high school, which was probably a good thing because he has a pretty serious drug problem and doesn’t like to wear a shirt. But damn, does he know how to take a wholesome Facebook photo.

I told my Nan that I was planning to stay single for a while, adding ‘it’s ok; I’m an independent woman… Just like Destiny’s Child used to sing about’. My grandmother cautioned me not to be too independent, unless I want to end up ‘with all those cats’ like my great aunt – six cats isn’t THAT many, right? As I hung up the phone I breathed a sigh of relief, it seemed like I had gotten off without a lecture on the dangers of becoming a spinster.

A few weeks later I was speaking to her again, this time about my love for Michael Bublé and how sad it was that he had a wife. She asked me how old his wife was and whether or not they had any children - If she wasn’t getting any children from me, she will be damned if she doesn’t get some great grandchildren-in-law from my fantasy husband, Michael.

My searches told me that Michael’s wife was 24 with no children. Wow, I’m 24 with no children! Am I secretly Michael Bublé’s wife?

No.

But wouldn’t that be an exciting M Night Shyamalan twist to this blog?

I told my grandmother that if only I had met him first I would definitely be married by now, since he was obviously looking for a lady in my age bracket. To which I was told, ‘Well you never know, you might meet him backstage after a concert and he will invite you back to his hotel room’.

‘Well I would say, Michael! I’m not that type of lady!’ I was proud of myself, it’s not easy to show restraint when an imaginary celebrity is inviting you back to his hotel room. ‘Well I don’t know Tara, he is REALLY rich…’ Wow, my grandmother was encouraging me to have an imaginary affair? Is this really happening? The woman who goes to church every Sunday to try find me a ‘Nice Catholic boy from the Bays’ is encouraging me to have steal another woman’s husband?

I may not have incredibly strong morals, but I like my men like I like my ice cream… Single (serve). Yeah that didn’t really work; I think I was thinking of soft serve. But you know when you buy ice cream and ask for only one scoop? I’m assuming that those in the ice cream business call that single serve and that’s how I like my men.

I knew that I had really turned a corner in my life when she continued on her tangent by saying ‘it’s not as if they have any children yet’. ‘Well you know what they say, no kids, no problem’ I laughed then immediately regretted it. I imagined my grandmother repeating this phrase, coined by her ‘independent granddaughter’ to all her friends. The moment my apparent lack of marriage morals moved through the Bay’s I would have a boyfriend in no time… although he might also have a wife.

So here I am. I am 24 and single, with a grandmother who has FINALLY given up on the dream of me holding a baby in one hand and a white picket fence in the other. And you know what? I couldn’t be happier.

Tara Merry was born and raised in New Zealand, a country commonly referred to as 'next to Australia'. From the moment she could walk she has been trying to escape from her unnecessarily tightknit beach-side community, affectionately described as ‘The Bays’. Now that she’s run away from her hometown and escaped the stigma of being a ‘Bay girl’ she’s hell bent on kissing as many frogs as possible - before midnight strikes and she turns back into a pumpkin.

You can find Tara's blog here: Who Needs Happily Ever After

Celibacy and the City

Being celibate is something that I didn't consciously decide on, it was actually an accident. Not only did I find myself being dateless, I also found myself not being intimate with anyone. I've always been the type of girl who doesn't feel the need to always have someone fulfill my sexual needs. I can go without sex for a long time and as a matter of fact, this is not my first time being celibate. I went three years without doing anything a few years ago and I survived.

Last week I read online about Scorpios, which is my sign and it said:

"In matters of love the one thing that is most true to your sign is this total rapture or celibacy. Everything about your nature is extreme and when it comes to the affairs of the heart you will open more than any sign initially, but if you get too hurt too many times you can completely turn off and become celibate. This is because you have a powerful controlling nature and when you call it quits, it’s dead." The Scorpio Personality {astro-counseling.com}

I couldn't believe when I read this because it's so true! I am very open about how I feel for someone and I don't like to hide how I feel. Because of my openness, it tends to get me into trouble to where the other person may not receive it as well as they should and I end up hurt. Lately, I feel as though I've been hurt too many times that I am retreating and turning that switch off. Since this is how things have been for me in this dry spell, I might as well consciously go with it and make it official.

I'm fed up of playing games and I want to be able to be truthful with someone and they'll see crystal clear what it is that I want and won't try to snake their way into taking advantage of me. This will result in no longer having these men waste my precious time. I don't know if this new sense of self preservation came from turning thirty, but I like to think that it is.

I'm thirty, daring and celibate.

Chastity Belt On Lock

I'll say it now and I'll say it again many times in the future, but we always want what we can't have. When I meet a guy who's obvious that he's interested and may even step out of bounds by being direct and borderline desperate, I, like anyone else, see them as an easy target and I don't get that feeling that I gotta have them. For instance, I met a guy on Valentine's Day and he seemed really sweet and showed me he was very interested in me. I let him take me out on a date and we had a great time.

While on our date I found out that he recently had gotten out of a relationship and he just wants to have fun. For me, I've been single for almost four years now and I want a boyfriend. To make it clear where we stood I asked him what is it that he's looking for? He tells me he's not wanting to be in a relationship since he just got out of one two months ago. That's definitely understandable and when he asked me I told him I want a boyfriend, I've been single for awhile and I'm ready. We both are on two different pages and at least we know right away.

He texts me yesterday that he apologizes for having kissed me on our date. I told him it's not a big deal and that since he was so persistent on kissing me throughout the date, I just gave in. He said he knows that we are looking for different things and that we shouldn't have kissed. I told him I appreciate him apologizing and that I normally don't kiss on a first date, but I just gave in. This is where the direct approach he took had me raise an eyebrow. He asked me if I'm sure I don't want to have a little fun? He didn't say it like that, but for blogging purposes let's just be vague because you can just imagine how he said it and I will tell you you're right! hahaha. I told him "I'm sure, as a matter fact I'm going to be celibate for awhile" and to my surprise he replies, "Not me" /end sarcasm. Wow, this dude is going bananas and I'm sure it will take some getting used to for him. Maybe not though, these days guys can chase anything that walks and they get their fix. I like to think girls are a bit more picky, well, most girls.

I like having this chastity belt on lock though. It gives me a sense of empowerment! My body is too bootylicious for you babe!

Still going to write about the rules of abstinence so hold on to your horsies.

Boy Who Cried Wolf

It's only been a few days since "Jackson" had told me that he's putting me on hold and already he's been giving me attention that I rather wish he didn't. I wish he didn't because it's a tease to me. It's torture to see him and know at the same time that it's never going to happen. We're not going to be what I wanted. In order for me to get over someone I have to just not be in contact with them. It's like the saying goes, "Out of sight, out of mind". I can't help but feel like he really was committed to that girl he's seeing and for him to have said he's keeping his options open is just a way for him to give a little bit of time to someone else, only to go back to who he had already been involved with.

With dating being a game, it's obvious that sometimes the game can get skewed and people cheat to get the outcome they want. I don't feel like he gave me a fair shot by only going on one date and a brief hangout. My friends say that I'm too immersed in the situation and it's not like it's been months since this has been going on. I don't think time is any indication of whether your feelings should be valid. It's about the chemistry and the connection that is shared. It's not everyday that you have that spark with someone of the opposite sex and you actually enjoy their company and things feel natural and not forced. When that happens, it's great and I want to be around that person all the time. What doesn't feel good is when it's only one sided and the other person may not feel the same way. It gets even more confusing when they show you with their actions that they don't want you to go away just yet and want to keep their foot in the door. So frustrating I tell you!

I've come to the decision as of early this year in 2013 that I'm gonna be celibate until I find the one. I honestly don't feel so great about myself these days anyway with the amount of weight I've gained that being physically intimate with someone is the last thing on my mind. But besides that, I'm not trying to put myself in the predicament that I have in the past where I gave a guy what he wanted and I never got what I wanted in return. Thankfully, I never went there with Jackson and it makes it easier to move on because we weren't THAT intimate if that makes sense.

My friend Dee and I are going to write in the coming week about the rules of being abstinent. So stay tuned for that! Have a great weekend everyone!

P.S. I revamped Bellaesque so feel free to check it out by clicking on the image!