Thanks for Making Me a Fighter

Funny how one day you feel you can conquer the world, and the next you feel like utter poop. As I was driving home tonight, that song I love by Gavin DeGraw "Not Over You" was playing, but I tuned in when it was ending and the next song that came on was "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera, one of my idols. Stripped was one of my most favorite albums of hers, and I'm actually listening to it right now as I'm blogging.

Why am I in such a somber mood? Big's birthday is today. I know I'm doing the right thing by moving on with my life, but my heart can't help but feel hurt that I'm not a part of his life because he made the decision to push me away, and I should've made the choice long ago to do it. It doesn't matter who made the decision first, because it's apparent that we are not meant to be. My BFF says that we can control who we love. I told her I beg to differ because it's inevitable. What I think we can control is when we should no longer keep having someone that is poisonous in our life, and sucks the air dry out of us.

I read this blog today about the Mr. Big Phenomenon, and it was amazing because I felt like it described my feelings to the T. I could've written it myself basically.

"I consider myself a smart woman, but I do stupid things. I am completely aware that old habits die hard. I have already been an enabler and let the situation linger for a long time with Big. While he is happily exploring new realms and conquests, I half-heartedly continue dating. I know I shouldn’t sit around and wait for Big. I think I’m doing the right thing but I end up doing more harm than good, here I am meeting new men but in the back of my mind lingers Big." - A Girl Unlike Any Other {Gaby Tovar}

I ran into one of his friends about two weeks ago, and he told me that when he asked Big what am I to him because it seemed like we had something going on, and all Big said was "Nah, we're nothing". His friend asked him if he's sure because it didn't look like that from her end. He just shook his head, indifferent. When I heard this, my heart sank, and I felt like everything Big had told me was a total complete lie. We were a lie.. we really are nothing. How is it that he's so good at painting a pretty picture that he likes me so much, that he loves being with me, that he wants to be in a relationship with me, one time he whispered he loved me.. he was drunk but I heard him and I never brought it up again because I didn't want him to tell me to disregard it. It was all a lie, a mirage, an illusion to keep me where he wanted me.

Source: facebook.com via Bella on Pinterest

Screw all that! I don't want someone to tell me sweet things, I want them to show me how much they care. The next guy that comes along better bring it, and pursue me hard because I think they are all a joke, and I no longer will put myself out there. I am more mysterious, won't talk too much, let them do all the talking, and for me to just listen more.

A good friend of mine had the idea of making a nice pretty wrapped gift box with hearts decoration, and inside of it, a nice steamy pile of shit, and put it on Big's door. I laughed so hard when she told me this. She was serious about it too! That shows you how much my friends don't like him. Kinda like how Carrie's friends on SATC weren't always rooting for Big. She said the tag should say, "Happy birthday you piece of shit", hahaha! Classic.

Am I going to call him today and wish him happy birthday? HELLLLLL NO! You crazy? Since he made the choice to not have me in his life, he doesn't get to hear from me. It's funny because I know he'll contact me this weekend whining about how I didn't wish him a happy birthday. Boo freakin' hoo! You don't care about me, and I'm not about to start caring for you anymore. Good riddance!

♫♪♬ Thought I would forget.. I remember, I remember, I REMEMBER!!! ♫♪♬

Mysterious Wins Every Time

Yesterday I was out with friends at this restaurant when suddenly in walks in this hottie who made my head spin. He looked like he was mixed, and I wanted to stare at him but I played it cool by still interacting with my friends and I could see him staring at me a few times out of the corner of my eye. Eventually, I came up and started talking to him and this girlfriend of mine. She was so obvious and mesmerized by him, it was entertaining to watch. She puts her number in his phone and as he's looking at his phone he says, "Oh you put your number on my phone?" and she said yes, and he was trying to add her other contact information but he couldn't remember her name. He remembered her brother's name, but not her name. Then as I was talking to both of them, in the midst of all that, she tries to get him to meet with her the next day and he agrees. I start thinking to myself, wait, doesn't she have a boyfriend? whatever. He told me that he lives in north Dallas, and I mentioned to him that we're neighbors because I live right on the other side of the tollway where he lives. I asked him if he's mixed and he said he's mixed with black and white. Nice. I love his curly hair, and tall frame.

As we were all leaving, I saw him leave and I kept talking to my friend so I didn't pay any attention. When I was walking out, I see him about to get into his car and he says, "It was nice to meet you Bella!", and I smiled, waved and said "Yeah same here!".. so he remembered my name. Interesting.

You see ladies, less is more. If you just chill, and not be all up on someone like white on rice, it speaks volumes and makes the guy be more curious about you, and in turn want you more. I'm sure he'll ask for my number when we meet again, probably tonight because I'm going out with the same friends and he may be there. This dateless life is certainly getting more and more fun.

Thinking Thursday: It's a Date, But Under Review

In the dating world, the general rule is you should give a guy at least one week for them to contact you before completely writing them off. As far as the coach went, I didn't wait a week to go by before I wrote him off since I'm on a roll of not taking any bullcrap from anyone, so that rule went out the window. To my honest surprise, he contacted me last night. Albeit, it was late when he contacted me, and if it had been anyone else I wouldn't have responded back, I felt like I just needed to bend that rule just this time. We talked for a good 45 minutes, and he asked me out on a date. I know I should be happy, but I will let you know that I'm still suspicious because when we were trying to agree on Saturday for a date, he gave me some weird excuse why he didn't feel confident he would make it on Saturday. So instead he pushed for Sunday, and I tried to get him to agree for Saturday, but again, he didn't budge after I tried a second time. I'm wondering if there's someone he's taking out on Saturday, and that's why I got Sunday. Who knows, but all I know is that the coach is under review. He's in the recycle bin, still about to be thrown out, but I gotta review this play real quick. 

I'm going to interview him sorta speak, on our date, and ask all kinds of questions to get a sense of who he is, and what he's looking for. I'll be sure to enjoy myself, be nice and gracious, but as far as Scorpios, we are investigative by nature so we really do get to the details and see things that others would dismiss or not pick up on. That's why I do love dating sometimes, because it's a process of elimination. Hey, you guys remember that show Elimidate? Oh man, I thought it was the best thing on late night tv since sliced bread.

Me being an honest person, I had to let him know that I was surprised to hear from him. I told him, "I'm kind of shocked to hear from you because you seemed to have kept texting, and out of touch". He said, "Really? I don't think I've been texting that much, because I've been in contact here and there". Either he has dementia or he is dense because as I recall, the weekend he left out of town he sent me a text, and the week he got back, he sent me another text.. then the weekend that followed, I got another text. No phone call! But I figure I should let him take me out, and see how this first date goes before I put him in the trash indefinitely.

When discussing where to go on Sunday, he said he wasn't sure where to take me and for me to let him know. I stopped him right there and told him, "No, you need to make the plans.. I'm not a picky eater, I love all kinds of food, Italian, Sushi, American, a good quality steak, etc". To that he said, "Oh okay then, well I'll see what I come up with". That's right! You're the guy, you plan. All I need to plan is my wardrobe, my hair, my jewelry, my perfume and what shoes I'm gonna rock. It's time for me to be treated like the queen that I am... because Whitney says "I am the queen of the night! Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeaaaaaah!".

Things I ❤ Tuesday: Pinterest Edition

Hey guys and gals! Today I bring you Things I love Tuesday Pinterest Edition! I know I used to do this meme every Tuesday, but I somehow felt like I was rushed trying to compile it all together, so I decided I'm just going to do it once a month. Here are my favorite pins the past month, enjoy!

Tell me this picture is not adorable! I would say you are a liar if you do, haha. This bathing suit is so cute, and the baby makes me want to have one just like her! She sorta resembles me when I was that little.. Cute, cute, cuuuute!

One of the many many reasons why I love blogging so much.. it calms my nerves!!! Lord have mercy!

GASP. *Drools* Such amazing makeup combo, I just love it! I really love the eyeshadow and the lips are the perfect color.

I want this purse so badly! I love anything animal print, this one is python and the pink straps are a nice touch.

It wouldn't be Pinterest, if they didn't throw some humor in the mix. I think this pic is hilarious! LOL.

I love seeing different nail design ideas on Pinterest, and this one was my most favorite for Vday. Very creative by just using tape and cutting it in half of a heart then putting the crackle polish over it.

I want some red heels! *pouts* My shoe collection is getting bigger and it's great and all, but I seriously don't have a pair of red heels.. not yet anyway.

To me this quote rings so true because I never dreamed I could be living the life I'm living now, with my blog being what it's become and continues to mold into something each time.. it gave birth to my dream of being a writer and writing my book one day. 

Adore one shoulder dresses! Especially the material of this dress, and the color is to dieeeee. 

Wish a certain someone knew this and would apply it to his life. Great quote!

Oh la la! I miss you Paris so much! I captioned this one "Love is in the air". I want to go back as soon as possible.. I can't believe I stood right underneath this marvelous structure only 2 years ago. Amazing.. especially at night.

What are you loving lately? Add me on Pinterest.

Early Spring Cleaning: These Boys Go In the Trash

How is it that these guys get on a online dating site and then they do not lift a finger to ask the girl they've been communicating with, out on a date? Is there a memo I missed somewhere? I don't get it! All that has happened just tells me that he is a HUGE loser, who probably is either in a relationship, or worse, married. Maybe that's not the case, but it seems quite suspect that not only did he not answer my call, he continues to text me pointless texts. If you haven't figured it out, I'm talking about the Coach. He texted me Saturday night around 10 and said, "Hey! What did you get into tonight? I hope you are having fun... :-)" What are you, 12? First of all, why are you texting me? Secondly, what is the fucking point of your text? NADA.. ZIP.. ZILCH! It just makes him look really stupid. Did I respond? Hell to the fucking no! I regret having texted him back two weeks ago before he went out of town because look at what's happening now. Now he's treating me casually, like I'm just some side dish that he'll get to if he wants to. From this day forward, I'm not going to text men anymore.. not even if I feel bad for seeming cold and a bitch. If they are worth my time, they will find a way to communicate by calling, and ask me out on a date like a gentleman should. I don't want to keep wasting my time emailing someone, to end up being ignored and never be asked out. 

I know people keep telling me to relax, and I am.. believe me! It's just extremely frustrating when you go through these similar scenarios over and over, months at a time, and I feel like I'm stuck in groundhog day. My life should be called "Dateless in Dallas on Groundhog Day", haha! I wouldn't be this worked up if he at least communicated with me like he did in the beginning, then I would know that he's being thoughtful and considerate. Now, all I see is the opposite of those things that he showed me initially the first week we talked, and that's how it is. Consistency is key, and I think I've been consistent with him because I've already expressed to him how I feel about texting, and for him to keep doing it, it's just not cool.

Oh and let me not get started with JR. What a joke. I guess I will tell you because that's what I do, I'm a blogger, and I love to write and spill the beans. He asks me on Friday night what am I doing on Saturday night. I told him I have no plans, and he says ok. I asked him if he's afraid of me because the norm is when someone asks you if you're free, and if you are, then they say that they are interested in meeting up with you. He tells me that he's not afraid, and gave me this lame excuse that he's thinking of having his coworkers come hang out at his place but he's not sure because of the weather. I told him that I'm not the type to wait around, and if he wants to meet then he needs to let me know. He said that if I make my own plans to go ahead and not wait on him, but he was just asking me to see what I had going on. Whatever.

I hear from him on Saturday around 9 o'clock, and I was napping because I had a really long day and I got home around 5pm so I was pretty tired and needed my nap. He said he doesn't feel like doing anything, and he cancelled his plans, and asked if I want to come over. I said, "No that's okay". Wow, really dude? We've only been on one date, which wasn't even quite a date since we were with a group of my friends, and you still don't have the decency to ask me out on a date, and you have the nerve to ask me to come over? It's crystal clear what he's interested in, and I'm not into that so he goes in the trash too!

I think I started my Spring cleaning early folks! haha. No worries for me though because I'm still living my fabulous single life and I'm happy as can be with my own company, as well as my friends' company. The more these dudes keep showing how ridiculous they are, the more I pity them because they'll be the ones who will remain single for a whole lot longer than they should. You reap what you sow, you get what you give. If you don't give a shit about a good girl like me, then you will not get a sminch of her time because she seriously lost interest in you. Now go churn some butter!!! {inside joke but just laugh!}

Drop Him Like It's Hot

Happy Friday loves! I couldn't be happier that the week has finally come to an end. I have so much packed into my weekend, that I am super excited about how things are unfolding. Before I tell you the good news, I'll start of by saying that I'm done with the coach, and most likely JR. 

Yesterday I heard from the coach via text, lame! and I responded, which I wish I wouldn't have because there was no point. I told him I was in the middle of something and that I would call him, so I did and no answer. I get that he was out of town recently, but if you're going to contact me now that you're back, at least get with the program and let me know if you want to meet me or not. Normally, someone would let you know the next day why they weren't able to take your call, and so far I have not heard from him. This is exactly why I did not want to text him or anyone for that matter. Maybe he's busy, but it doesn't take much to let someone know what's going on and have the courtesy and respect to do so. So you know what? he's going in the trash. I'm dropping him like it's hot.

JR has been incognito all week, and last I heard from him was on Valentine's Day, which was a text. Not sure if he thinks that I'm a last minute girl and he'll decide to contact me later today or tomorrow and ask to see me over the weekend, because if that's the case, boy is he in for a surprise. 

Then there was this other guy I messaged on Match, but he wasn't talking about anything interesting through email, he didn't ask any questions so I wrote back also not asking any questions and I'm sure that's the last message we'll ever exchange. Especially since my membership expires in two days, I could care less.

Now onto my good news, I made an acquaintance with this man who has his own radio show, which he also video tapes through ustream, and he asked me to be on his show to talk about dating, and my dating blog! How cool is that? I'm pretty stoked about that because I've never been on a radio show, and this should be quite an interesting experience. More details as I know soon.

I hope you guys have a happy Friday, and a super fantastic weekend! Mine is set to be golden, and painting the town, baby!

Thinking Thursday: I Survived Vday

Last night was EPIC! I had the best Valentine's Day, and ended it on a great note with my BFF. I drank so much wine, I started Facebooking, and low and behold, funny jokes in comments took place and my friend was cracking up at how silly I was being. I don't even know where the comment "Go churn some butter" came from out of me, but that's what it was in a nutshell.

Oh, and BTW I decided to change my layout because I got some friendly advice that my blog was looking a bit like a teenager's, so I had to fix that. I hope you guys like it, since Spring is coming up, I figured this was a fitting theme. 

Even though I had a great day, and awesome time with my girl, I still felt like any guy that I've been talking to should've at least made the effort to take me to lunch, or dinner. My friend was also in the same predicament because the guy she had been talking to, also did not put forth the effort. Why is that? Is it because guys somehow feel that if they treat us on Valentine's Day, that somehow we'll take that as them wanting to marry us? Because let me tell you, that is SO not the case! Vday shouldn't just be for people in marriages, or relationships. If you're dating someone, that's when you should still make an effort and show them that you are thinking of them, and even a small card or a rose could make all the difference.

As I previously said in one of my posts that I don't want to be picky, I can't help but feel this nagging feeling that maybe I should just stop talking to the guy who I thought should've made an effort. Then again, I think to myself that maybe it is too soon to be doing anything of such sort since we just started talking last week. I don't know if I'm crazy, or if it's just me being the hopeless romantic that I am deep down inside. All I know is that some of us single gals still want to get attention from the guys who are on our periphery, and they need to act worthy! Am I right? or am I right? haha.

 One of the Vday treats I savored at our sleepover, yummy!

Happy Valentine's Day!

A rose is still a rose.. baby girl you're a still a flower.. he can't lead you and then take you, make you and then break you, baby girl you hold the power.

♡ ♡ ♡ Happy Valentine's Day my wonderful readers!  ♡ ♡ ♡ Of course I am dateless on the day of love, but that's the last thing on my mind because I have so many amazing things happening in my life as of lately that I don't think of it as a bad thing. As a matter fact, tonight my BFF and I are doing our own party called "I Hate Valentine's Day" LOL. We rented Breaking Dawn and we're gonna stuff our pie holes with chocolates and cupcakes. YAY! Oh and let's not forget the RED WINE. So I hope you guys have an amazing unforgettable day of love because I feel love.. from God, and that's all that matters to me right now.
xoxo.
PS. My guy friend gave me that beautiful pink rose pictured above, and I was not expecting it at all, and it made my day :)